Waiting

Woke up at 4 a.m. and couldn't sleep until 6:00. Alarm set for 6:50.

They held the lottery for Fringe applications last night. They said they would send out an e-mail by noon with the results. It's 12:44 and nothing.

I want to eat my knee.

not

I didn't get into the Fringe. We stacked the deck with two applications (which is not allowed) but neither got picked in the lottery.

I want to die right now. I'm sitting at at my desk at my day job putting tables of data into order and there is an ocean of acid tears behind my eyes.

My soul is telling me that there is no other chance in life to be who I want to be and that dreaming is pathetic and useless. This makes no sense, but sense's voice is muffled behind the ocean of acid tears.