Relationship Politics

[talktooloose]

It seems like letting Snake and Tutu work out their own relationship is the right thing for me to do. Without me running interference, their fights actually escalate a bit louder and higher and then they are forced to talk as adults. When I blunt the edges, it might just delay the discussion they need.

Why does this seem so obvious now?

Do those of you in ltr's ever muse about new lovers? Not necessarily specific ones but the idea of being in a new, fresh and perfectly trouble-free relationship? I've been day-dreaming about this lately. Should I be worried?

Comments

[corduroyarmy.livejournal.com]

Should you fear change?

[quirkstreet.livejournal.com]

I think about that fairly often. And then I notice the joys of my existing loved ones.

It only worried me a year ago when it started to feel as though my current life was holding me back and there was nothing I could do about it. But it was the feeling of hopelessness that bothered me, not having problems to work through in existing relationships. I decided it was depression (an overreaction to real problems, rather than reasonable feelings about real problems). These days I have a more balanced perspective that has some grousing and a lot of good stuff.

Thanks again for the check-in offline, btw.

[talktooloose.livejournal.com]

Geez, what else is there to fear?

[talktooloose.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think it's mostly a desire for something new in life. Ironically, I'm setting up all kinds of new things in life. But these, of course, are scary since they're really under way. So I retreat to abstract change fantasies.

But I also totally understand serial relationship people. Maybe I just need a really hot six month romance.

[goodall.livejournal.com]

Fantasies are normal. Don't feel guilty.

At the same time, who else would be available to give you what Snake gives you? And for how long? A relationship is like a country...unless things are out of control, why destroy it with a nuclear bomb?

[dan4th.livejournal.com]

Heh. I daydream about it all the time. It's not that I want to get rid of my current SO - I'm very content with him. But content is a very different thing from the fresh, dizzying experience of a new relationship.

Yeah ...

[quirkstreet.livejournal.com]

When I can contrive to have those, they do wonders for ME.

Re: Yeah ...

[talktooloose.livejournal.com]

I'm inspired.

[talktooloose.livejournal.com]

And besides, I don't have the time for all the paperwork involved in a break-up. Sheesh.

[talktooloose.livejournal.com]

Yeah! *sigh* I've only ever had one ltr in my life and I'm still in it. But I totally get the thrill with new friends regularly. Strangely enough, I never imagine leaving Snake for any of those new friends. The new-improved-dream-lover is always a fantasy construct. For instance, I'm thrilled to be getting to know rfmcdpei and he's real cute and all, but I don't imagine settling down with him. (This was a paid political announcement on behalf of the "Date Randy" party. The CBC is required to carry election advertizing.)

Elle aime tomber amoureuse

[briseur.livejournal.com]

Yeah I've been noticing myself just dying to fall in love of late. And things are going well b/w me & zarabell. I'm just craving that discovering-someone-new bit where one just NEEDS to know the answer to the next question. I'm contriving to do that with someone new (in the city I just left, of course) in recent weeks, and there are moments in which she appears to fit the bill & moments where it's more a friendship than an amour. Probably has something to do with emotional openness or something. Gimme a call, wouldja?

Re: Elle aime tomber amoureuse

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not in a long term relationship and doubt I ever will be. With all the reports of fights and strife, why would i want to be !!!!!???? I hate fighting and don't have the time or energy for it. The last relationship I was in was in Japan. After he raised his hand to me I said "never again" to myself. Not too seriously, but it has come true nonetheless.

Fighting is not necessary and I have never seen any growth from it in the few short term relationships I have had. As far as new romance... Well the term romance, now there is a fantasy :) What many people rarely seem to do is grow into love and to continue to do so. We spend too much time and effort preventing people in our relationships from changing I think.

Cynical Cody-chan

Re: Elle aime tomber amoureuse

[talktooloose.livejournal.com]

Fighting is necessary if two people are going to try and resolve sometimes huge differences in order to have a relationship. The question is, do you know how to fight? Have the two of you learned how to do it so it will lead somewhere constructive? The only alternative to fighting I see is not having a relationship. That may be fine for you, but I wouldn't want that.

Fighting is inescapable in this world. Can you do it so that both parties come out winners? We better learn as a world, or we're doomed. And if two people can't, how will nations?