Stormy Weather
Aug. 10th, 2004 01:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
talktoolooseI have ignored the thunderstorm and deluge forecasts and ridden my bike to work. We'll see how that turns out.
In other stormy news, I'm going to start distancing myself from the role of peacemaker between Snake and Tutu and start accepting the idea that they may not be able to make their relationship work. Snake is a nasty-ass second generation Scorpio at the best of times, but through a combination of brutal honesty and endless compassion, he and I have sunk roots as deep as any mountain. While Tutu has the idea of compassion and honesty, he hasn't got the practice down yet and he pushes all of Snake's worst buttons many times a day. As a result, I get to watch many of the same earth-shaking fights Snake and I had 13, 14 years ago being played out between them but with less hope for resolution.
For the past two years, I've often played peacemaker but I'm doubting my motivations and doubting whether my intervention is what the situation needs. First of all, I hate fights. My father screamed and flew off the handle all through my childhood and I found myself in the inappropriate role of the one who could calm him down. This is not a responsibility a child should have been allowed to take on and I think, as a result, I didn't learn to respect my own feelings of anger -- anger was something to smooth away ASAP.
But I realize that, despite the fact that I want to see my family happy, I can't solve their communications problems and might even be standing in the way of their mutual growth.
I have reasons for wanting the two of them to remain a couple and reasons for wanting them to break up. Many of those reasons are for my personal convenience. Therefore, again, I come to the conclusion that I have to back off and let them find their own way.
It's after lunch now and the expected storms have not hit. The storm clouds loom; they make vague augeries and cast dark portents, but I'd be a fool to say I can predict when and if they will cross from threat to violence.
In other stormy news, I'm going to start distancing myself from the role of peacemaker between Snake and Tutu and start accepting the idea that they may not be able to make their relationship work. Snake is a nasty-ass second generation Scorpio at the best of times, but through a combination of brutal honesty and endless compassion, he and I have sunk roots as deep as any mountain. While Tutu has the idea of compassion and honesty, he hasn't got the practice down yet and he pushes all of Snake's worst buttons many times a day. As a result, I get to watch many of the same earth-shaking fights Snake and I had 13, 14 years ago being played out between them but with less hope for resolution.
For the past two years, I've often played peacemaker but I'm doubting my motivations and doubting whether my intervention is what the situation needs. First of all, I hate fights. My father screamed and flew off the handle all through my childhood and I found myself in the inappropriate role of the one who could calm him down. This is not a responsibility a child should have been allowed to take on and I think, as a result, I didn't learn to respect my own feelings of anger -- anger was something to smooth away ASAP.
But I realize that, despite the fact that I want to see my family happy, I can't solve their communications problems and might even be standing in the way of their mutual growth.
I have reasons for wanting the two of them to remain a couple and reasons for wanting them to break up. Many of those reasons are for my personal convenience. Therefore, again, I come to the conclusion that I have to back off and let them find their own way.
It's after lunch now and the expected storms have not hit. The storm clouds loom; they make vague augeries and cast dark portents, but I'd be a fool to say I can predict when and if they will cross from threat to violence.
