talktooloose

When Snake and I were clearing US customs on the way to Florida, we became an official, international set of spouses. Please send wedding presents.

As we lined up, we decided to fill in two customs forms though it called for "one per family". This was sort of a no-brainer for us as it's how we've always entered the Altered States of America. After all, it was only ten years ago that it was still legal for any customs officer to arbitrarily ban any lesbian or gay person from entering the US (thanks to Rep. Barney Franks for fighting that battle).

But as we stood in front of the hunky border guard, he started asking what our relationship was. As I hesitated for a moment, he began throwing options at me: "friends? colleagues?" and, suddenly seeing any prevarication as ridiculous and self-diminishing, I looked him in the eye and said "Spouses. We're spouses." And with the simple recitation of this word, we entered the United Snakes as couple. I wish I'd had a bouquet to throw.

It's funny how the zeitgeist catches you in its zephyrs. All the gay marriage stuff is interesting to me as a rights phenomenon and for its ability to expose people's hatreds and nobilities. But I also find it retrogressive in the way it reinforces monogamy and nesting as the only mode of human love that one should aspire to. Furthermore, I don't even believe that it's the best approach to take for obtaining rights for the largest number of diverse people and for actually advancing societal attitudes and growth.

Nonetheless, I felt somewhat elated afterwards and said my traditional pre-flight plane-crash sentimental "I love you" with even more teary gusto than usual.