La Vida Sana

[talktooloose]

We find wisdom where we need it. While I can't call myself a Ricky Martin fan (I don't actually know any song other than "La Vida Loca"), I found a necessary pearl of wisdom as I was leafing through his memoir at the supermarket. In fact, I had to wait three months on the library queue to get the book and copy the words down:

Deep down I guess I have always know that I was gay, but I still spent many years trying to hide it, even from myself. Ever since I can remember I have felt a strong attraction to men, and though I can say I have also felt a strong attraction to and chemistry with women, it is a man who ultimately awakens my most instinctual, animal self. It is with a man that I can feel myself truly come alive, where I can find the love and passion I seek in a relationship. But I spent a lot of time resisting what I felt.
- Ricky Martin, Me

The key words for me there are "…it is a man who ultimately awakens my most instinctual, animal self." It seems kind of obvious, but I am becoming aware of just how much I deny the existence of my animal self—how afraid I am to let my body speak and to trust its wisdom. It's been speaking loudly of late, and I'm trying to listen and to get my controlling brain out of its way.

Bonus for friends only: I'll post a new song lyric later today that addresses this issue.