Expectations
Jun. 18th, 2003 12:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
talktoolooseI dropped my first LJ friend this week. I found I wasn't reading his journal as it popped up and that I had largely been following because of his relationship with another LJ friend. From my point of view, this seems reasonable, but I can totally relate to how LJ can feel like high school cliques.
I know I get paranoid when I don't get replies to posts and always question at some level whether a given journal entry will go over well with my "audience". This is neurotic behaviour and I don't want to give it much power. This LJ is for me to share things I want to share how I want to share them.
As a friend in LJ and in the flesh, I try to be there for people and I can't always be. Still, I know I get very hurt when friends aren't there for me. I am getting pushier about it, too. I'll say to someone, "I need you to listen to this song and give me feedback in the next two days." In return, I don't mind it when friends are direct with me.
It hurt like hell when my short film was shown in front of an audience of 500 and one friend didn't come because his boyfriend showed up late at their rendezvous spot. My friend wasn't willing to give up an hour with said bf to see my work in front of an audience. But feelings of momentary betrayal should not be confused with a friend who is there year after year and gives freely of his time as this friend has been.
LJ is funny thing: it's a cross between entertainment, voyeurism, support community and, like any other avenue of human intercourse, can get infused with incredible love. I have been the recipient of this love and have given it in return. I'm sorry to the person I de-friended. I don't have much to contribute to you and, therefore, I have pulled back a bit from your life which I was never really part of anyway. I do wish you all the best. You seem like a kind and talented person.
I know I get paranoid when I don't get replies to posts and always question at some level whether a given journal entry will go over well with my "audience". This is neurotic behaviour and I don't want to give it much power. This LJ is for me to share things I want to share how I want to share them.
As a friend in LJ and in the flesh, I try to be there for people and I can't always be. Still, I know I get very hurt when friends aren't there for me. I am getting pushier about it, too. I'll say to someone, "I need you to listen to this song and give me feedback in the next two days." In return, I don't mind it when friends are direct with me.
It hurt like hell when my short film was shown in front of an audience of 500 and one friend didn't come because his boyfriend showed up late at their rendezvous spot. My friend wasn't willing to give up an hour with said bf to see my work in front of an audience. But feelings of momentary betrayal should not be confused with a friend who is there year after year and gives freely of his time as this friend has been.
LJ is funny thing: it's a cross between entertainment, voyeurism, support community and, like any other avenue of human intercourse, can get infused with incredible love. I have been the recipient of this love and have given it in return. I'm sorry to the person I de-friended. I don't have much to contribute to you and, therefore, I have pulled back a bit from your life which I was never really part of anyway. I do wish you all the best. You seem like a kind and talented person.
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no subject
Date: 2003-06-18 05:50 pm (UTC)Lastly, if someone is really going to gett his panties in a bunch about his lack of readership, it might do him well to work on improving his writing instead of whining about how no one wants to read his whining. Just a thought.
On a more personal note, I enjoy your journal very muchly. Interesting, provocative issues, and well-written and presented. Keep it up, sugarpiebeancakeface!
P.S. Sure-fire way to prune down that friends list: begin an entry with "Gah! I'm so sick! I feel like ass!" Thaaaat's sure interesting to read! Uh-huh.
no subject
Date: 2003-06-19 08:27 am (UTC)"God! I'm bored. Oh well, guess I'll watch some TV or something."
or
"Which brand of ketchup-flavoured potato chip are you?"
Anyway, since I write for myself, I don't care that you enjoy my journal muchly.
**really? you like it?! you like it?!**