Shy

[talktooloose]

I'm coming to a strange realization at the age of 44. I'm a shy person. I've always been noisy and outgoing but I think it's a front and a learned behaviour, not a reflection of my true self.

I've been thinking how much I've switched to solitary, non-performance arts in the last few years. This after learning to stand up on a stage and sing my heart out for an audience. But really, me as a performer was never that good a fit.

I went to bitterlawngnome's art opening last week at the Pentimento gallery (highly recommeded -- gorgeous work) and had to meet a lot of people I didn't know but had heard about through rfmcdpei whom I accompanied. It was smart-bear central and I was very happy to be introduced around. I made pleasant conversation, said wise art things and ate a lot of cheese. But you know what? I really only wanted to hang beside Randy and hide.

It seemed like a lot of worry to me whether I would be liked or not. This is probably the root of my hidden shyness. It's good that I learned to deal with these situations a long time ago, but the core shyness has not really retreated as I might have expected it to do.

I met 2fruition for the first time and was totally charmed but again, had the urge to run away and hide. Tell me if I'm wrong, Sean, but you seemed shy, too.

People tell you that shyness is something to get over, but maybe it's something to accept, too. If you want to be appalled, amused and infuriated at the same time, check out the book Shy Busters by a very pathetic self-help asshole. Snake got it from the library and declared it the end of civilization.

Comments

[ginalin.livejournal.com]

A lot of performers are shy. Crowd interactions don't have the same effect on us as one on one or interacting with a small group.

You can be fine in one of those situations and totally tongue-tied in another.

I'm shy one on one, sometimes. In a group, I turn into Hammy-McHammity. It might be the same kind of self-defensive behavior.

I'm not a Pisces, but I have Mars in Pisces, and Mars represents how you act and react, particularly your motivations. Pisces are often shy. With Pisces, most of the energy goes to imagination, seeing how it's ruler is Jupiter, the planet of expanded consciousness and dreams, which also makes you kind of a shy, dreamy sort. (Actually, it's Jupiter by Night, Neptune by day, because it's a dual sign and Neptune represents that which is hidden, which can mean shyness, not being forthcoming, secrecy.)

[talktooloose.livejournal.com]

See, my theory is that Hammy-McHammity can be a cover, at least for me. I'm trying to see if there is something to be gained by honouring my shyness instead of fighting against it so aggressively.

Thank you for the zodiacal info. Interesting.

[ginalin.livejournal.com]

Astrology is so much interwoven with psychology anymore, thanks to Jung, that one sort of augments the other with astrologers.
I really don't believe that actual planets or gods influence behavior (duh), but that the aspects of astrology are subconscious archetypes for personality traits.
Jung believed astrology was a non-scientific attempt to categorize human behavior traits, to make some sense of them, and to tap into the subconscious and unconscious levels of thinking, which rely heavily on archetypes, non-verbal imagery, shapes.

I think there's something to that. A quick peek at a person's astrological chart often opens up some my intuition when I'm trying to figure out someone's behavior or motivations. It's like seeing their personality represented by shapes and designs rather than words, if that makes sense. Like those pie charts that USA TODAY uses. LOL

As a Pisces, you're naturally Neptunian, which means the more you access your subconscious in a conscious manner, the more integrated you will be. Neptunians tend to be very intuitive, sensitive types, and naturally creative.
All those energies together is what we tend to term "shyness" but it comes from having fewer filters between the subconscious and conscious mind, and in dealing with others, you tend to be particularly empathic.
That makes one a bit vulnerable, so you need those periods of retreat or shyness to refuel your emotional energies. So, it's not a bad thing, it's a necessary thing.
Neptunians tend to need things like meditation and/or hydrotherapy (never met a Pisces yet that didn't love hot tubs or hot baths) to aid your psychic refueling more than most people. Immersing yourself in a creative endeavor does that too, anything that creates a conduit for that creative energy.
I'm Neptunian, and I was a nervous wreck until I learned how to refuel. People suck up my empathy and effusiveness like a sponge, and I can't help but put it out there, it's just my nature. If you don't learn to refuel, you'll literally get sick.
Neptune rules the immune system, the nervous system, the emotions. They're your strength and your weakness, depending on how you use them.
Neptunians also tend to "eat" their emotions or those of others. Overeating or eating disorders tend to plague us.
I've been up and down the scales all my life. I finally learned to do less destructive things to try to refuel myself than eat a cake. *G*
I've lost 60 lbs over the last two years and I really can just eat one cookie now. Never thought I'd be able to say that.

[eversearching.livejournal.com]

I don't know for certain what I think about the permanence of personality traits, but I relate to this entry i/r/t shyness. In the past, I've seen myself as very shy (early childhood) as very outgoing (grades 3-6), as very very shy (6-8), as very outgoing (9-12), as outgoing but reserved (college), as extremely shy and antisocial (first year out of college), as ultra outgoing (from then to about a year ago), and back to being extremely shy and introverted again.

Being a glass half full kind of person, I'm really embracing this shyness. It seems a kind of protective modesty, a way to keep a space for myself to do the things I want to do in that space. I feel its intensive preparation for writing/spritual quests.

[talktooloose.livejournal.com]

Wow, your comment blew me away. I just used the phrase "honouring my shyness" in my response to ginalin, similar to your "embracing". "...intensive prepartion writing/spiritual quests" really resonates for me.

When I'm creating art, I'm not shy. I'm extravagant.

Thanks.

[bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com]

Can't speak for the rest of your life. But just about everyone finds openings at least work, if not traumatic. They are the acid test of schmoozing skills, esp of you are the artist: you are supposed to meet and chat up a large number of people who can be very very influential on your future wellbeing as an artist. No pressure at all.

[talktooloose.livejournal.com]

But there's all that good cheese!

You seemed to be very graceful under pressure and very welcoming. I felt bad for a certain someone there because people told him he should take the opporunity to NETWORK! Agghhhhh! Scary!!

[bitterlawngnome.livejournal.com]

But that's what I'm saying. EVERYone at openings gets that pressure. Everyone's nervous to some extent. So just relax and accept the thong.

[briseur.livejournal.com]

How can a book that was taken out of a Public Libary mark the end of civilisation?
I too go back & forth between intro- and extroversion. Easy to judge the one as morally superior to the other, but it doesn't help me achieve.