Careful

[talktooloose]

I sometimes suspect that I don't really know what it means to be a friend; that instead I'm just so needy that I will present whatever face you need to see to make you like me.

And if I ever misjudge that, god help me.

It is possible that I'm a hollow entity and that if you call my bluff, I will deflate.

Comments

[goodall.livejournal.com]

You don't owe me a thing, other than an honest explanation. It is up to me whether I choose to accept it or not.

I will accept the following explanations for not being friended:

1. Immaturity;
2. Boastfulness;
3. Judgemental posts;
4. Lack of connection/interest in posts;
5. Disagreement with opinions in posts.

I will readily accept any of those.

Otherwise it's bullshit. If only you knew me in real life...you would be missing out on a very nice friend for coming up with your own reasons not to be one.

[talktooloose.livejournal.com]

No, actually, I owe you nothing by way of explanation. LJ is an open place where you can friend anyone whose life you are interested in. They, in turn, have ways to make posts only to those people whom they are interested in having read them. You chose to friend me but that does not mean I am obliged to friend you nor offer you an explanation for that choice.

To be frank, my choices are somewhat arbitrary and instinctive.

I find your choice of wording strange: "You...owe me...an honest explanation... I will accept the following explanations..." Do you want these in triplicate and what is my deadline for submission?

Perhaps if we met in real life we'd become friends. As it is, we're online acquaintances and up until now it's been a perfectly civil arrangement. But you know what, a very long-term online acquaintance wrote today in his journal that unless we have spent time together in real-life and talked in depth, "you don't really know me." I have to agree. It is, I think, presumptuous to call him my "friend" as I have in the past and it has been presumptuous for me to write things to him at a level of intimacy that we don't really share.

And I don't appreciate being told I am inadequate for not spending more time with someone at a party where there are already hundreds of cool people, some of whom are near and dear to me. THERE JUST ISN'T TIME NOR WILL TO HANG WITH EVERYONE. End of story.

This is a cocktail party, not a family.

[goodall.livejournal.com]

I appreciate your definition of LJ as a cocktail party. That tells me a lot, and has given me something to think about.

My use of LJ is much different from yours. A lot of the things that I write here are things that I can't share with my real-time family and friends. My LJ friends can comment or take it with a grain of salt as they please. For the most part, we added each other simultaneously, as an act of good will.

There are some other people on my LJ friends list who didn't friend me. In one case, I didn't ask (because of certain industry connections that he may have) and in another case, this particular person has not surfaced for years, but still has an undeleted journal. So it's hard for me to understand why you wouldn't, other than lack of interest. By your first paragraph, you noted a lack of interest in my LJ, which I can accept. And as you have a lack of interest in my LJ, then there is no reason why I should maintain interest in yours. I wish you well.