Liar

[talktooloose]

It's possible that I'm lying to you about everything.

I woke up at 6 a.m., fretting. I decided that I'm living on the surface of things and not really facing some of my core pain. I'm lying to myself all day just to get by.

Am I using this journal (and, by extension, you) to bolster my lies?

Probably.

And is there a connection between the resumption of my heart arhythmias and the resumption of my halting, crab-like movements towards a career on stage?

Oh, I think so.

Comments

somatic connection

[deuterium-d3.livejournal.com]

That's a pretty profound realization, if it's true.

Re: somatic connection

[talktooloose.livejournal.com]

If true.

I think there is truth to the fact that my middle of the night mini-anxiety attacks are related to my career aspirations and so it doesn't seem too far-fetched that my heart might be reacting to a raised-level of background stress. It's been solid for days now and the night stresses are diminishing, so I'm feeling better. Perhaps I'll blog later on this topic and the talk I had on Saturday with my friend Sam.