Shy Boy

[talktooloose]

So, all day I've been writing and rewriting an entry in my head summarizing last night's kinky sex extravaganza and yet I can't bring myself to actually write it.

I used to have a completely anonymous journal (in which I left stupid clues that led to its discovery) and in it, I could show just about any side of me I wanted.

Talktooloose is also anonymous except to about six or seven people which has been good from the point of view of meeting and socializing with fascinating geeks and web heads but I find myself inhibited here in the journal which annoys me.

I don't quite have the chutzpah to reveal my desires and just say "judgement be damned". I have always been plagued by an unhealthy desire to be liked by as many as possible. This is at odds with my belief in openness and my sure knowledge that my openness leads others to reveal and celebrate the more unconventional pieces of their natures, too.

And of course, I'm a pejorative bigot, too. I assume that some of my readers (and I'm probably talking about the str8 boys here) CAN'T HANDLE IT!

So, there you are, dear readers: untitillated and probably insulted. Boy, am I expecting to catch shit from briseur about this one!

Comments

[shawnsyms.livejournal.com]

*sadness*

[rfmcdpei.livejournal.com]

How about a filtered friends-only list?

[redrunner.livejournal.com]

Dude, from my point of view you can post whatevertheheck you feel comfortable with, whenevertheheck you feel comfortable. Which means that if you DON'T want to post something, people should just deal.

[goodall.livejournal.com]

1. If people don't like what you have to say, they can stop reading. No big loss!

2. If you want to write something in LJ, and don't want others to see it, you can always mark it "private" or do a major "friends" filter.

If you want to be liked, be liked for the real you, not the you that you think people want to see, or the one that people believe who you are.

[corduroyarmy.livejournal.com]

Seriously man
We breeders offend easy


Dude, basically, if we're reading about periods and all that business, I think the live journal can survive a little homosexuality.


but
It's not contagious, is it?
(joke)

[redrunner.livejournal.com]

hee!

[deuterium-d3.livejournal.com]

Put it behind an lj-cut. The ones who want to read it, will. (And read it, everyone will... str8 guys are curious, too.)

pervy privacy

[briseur.livejournal.com]

Interestingly, I wasn't offended when you talked about str8s being unable to cope untill you used my moniker; I s'pose that is what I mostly am these days. The high irony is, you probably don't have any readers who are more interested in your kinks than I am.

[talktooloose.livejournal.com]

Okay, I'm going to have to get my head straight (pardon the expression) about what I want to say and get back to y'all. No, it's more a matter of being upfront about kink than about cock sucked. But it's part of that stupid process that makes people only hang out with people of their same age, ethnicity, religion, orientation, etc.

Because we fear rejection when opening up among not necessarily likeminded people.

This is my problem, not yours.

[talktooloose.livejournal.com]

Because you're not reading about it or because of my inner conflicts?

[talktooloose.livejournal.com]

But you see, I feel like I should be unabashedly open! Of course, this makes as little sense as the idea that I should be guarded.

[talktooloose.livejournal.com]

merci.

Re: pervy privacy

[talktooloose.livejournal.com]

Okay, this'll tickle ya: When I thought of the str8 boys in my audience I wasn't thinking of you at all, even after I name-checked you. Interesting. Although it is clear that you are only sleeping with women these days (to my knowledge), I think of you as one of my queerest friends. And I mean that in the nicest way possible.

Oh no, this is definitely an extension of our discussion of October in Vermont.

Putting my Briseur eyes on, I realize that my true conflict is between being an attention whore and wanting everyone to approve of me.

[talktooloose.livejournal.com]

Unlike you, Blanche, right?

[shawnsyms.livejournal.com]

Both.

Have fun in New York!

[goodall.livejournal.com]

To tell you the truth, TTL, I read your posts for the puppy stories, your adventures with Snake, and whatever you have to say about writing, comics, etc. Whatever fantasies you have won't shock or disgust me, nor will they make me judge you as a person.

Besides...I am sure that they are a lot more exciting than mine. I don't have any imagination in this department.

[deuterium-d3.livejournal.com]

You know I'd read it ;)