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talktoolooseIt's taken a while to get to this post. Two weekends ago was a weekend filled with festivities and solemnities.
The occasions honoured were mine and Snake's 20th anniversary, my parents' 60th anniversary and my mother's 80th birthday. The latter two were celebrated together in a big party for friends and family that my siblings and we have been planning for months.
The whole weekend was, of course, crazy busy. On Saturday, Snake and I were putting the finishing touches on the family photos we had been scanning and cleaning up. We loaded them onto the new 15" digital picture frame and declared the results excellent.
At that moment, our housemate (and former member of our triangular relationship) came home for a rare weekend appearance. We quickly took the opportunity to have the funeral service for our late cat, whose ashes had been sitting in a box on the piano since February. We already had a hole dug under the lilace tree and we poured the ashes in, topped it with a bit of cat nip from one of his toys and said a few words on his life.
The housemate then departed and Snake and I got ready for our private ceremony. Just then, my mother phoned to say she could come and pick us up (we had been planning taking transit to her place an hour later). "Come on over," I said and told Snake, "Let's go, we only have 25 minutes."
We dressed up a bit, put the camera on a tripod, returned to the shade of the lilac tree and exchanged our new anniversary rings with only the dog and the sparrows for witnesses. It was incredibly sweet and felt very simple and real. We took a few smiley pics on the timer and then set the dog up as a background for the ring shot:
Snake had the wonderful idea of just inscribing our rings with each other's names. So I always have him with me and he has me.
My mom arrived and drove us up to North York. There, my sister and I put together script for the next day and cut out pics for the table centerpieces. My brother's family finally arrived after 9:30 that night for a quick rehearsal of songs and skits and we finally got home and into bed by 1:15.
We were up early the next day and already loading in sound equipment, etc. at the party site (my cousin's condo party room) before 10. The party went altogether fabulously and my parents were touched beyond their wildest dreams.
During my dad's speech, he said that there was another celebration that weekend and congratulated me and Snake on our 20th. Then, when we got home, we found flowers and a card from our new neighbours (whom we had waggled our rings at before we left). We never wanted a public wedding ceremony, but these little acknowledgements have been very sweet.
It's funny; a few people have reacted negatively to the implications of ownership in our rings. To me, this worry comes a bit late in the day. Ten years ago, I might still have felt that way, but now the fact of our life together far precedes the symbolism. We didn't stand up in public in 1988 and declare that we would thenceforth honour and cherish. We lived it.
The rings mark the seriousness with which we have commited ourselves to each other and the wholeness of our love which grows and deepens yet.
The occasions honoured were mine and Snake's 20th anniversary, my parents' 60th anniversary and my mother's 80th birthday. The latter two were celebrated together in a big party for friends and family that my siblings and we have been planning for months.
The whole weekend was, of course, crazy busy. On Saturday, Snake and I were putting the finishing touches on the family photos we had been scanning and cleaning up. We loaded them onto the new 15" digital picture frame and declared the results excellent.
At that moment, our housemate (and former member of our triangular relationship) came home for a rare weekend appearance. We quickly took the opportunity to have the funeral service for our late cat, whose ashes had been sitting in a box on the piano since February. We already had a hole dug under the lilace tree and we poured the ashes in, topped it with a bit of cat nip from one of his toys and said a few words on his life.
The housemate then departed and Snake and I got ready for our private ceremony. Just then, my mother phoned to say she could come and pick us up (we had been planning taking transit to her place an hour later). "Come on over," I said and told Snake, "Let's go, we only have 25 minutes."
We dressed up a bit, put the camera on a tripod, returned to the shade of the lilac tree and exchanged our new anniversary rings with only the dog and the sparrows for witnesses. It was incredibly sweet and felt very simple and real. We took a few smiley pics on the timer and then set the dog up as a background for the ring shot:
Snake had the wonderful idea of just inscribing our rings with each other's names. So I always have him with me and he has me.
My mom arrived and drove us up to North York. There, my sister and I put together script for the next day and cut out pics for the table centerpieces. My brother's family finally arrived after 9:30 that night for a quick rehearsal of songs and skits and we finally got home and into bed by 1:15.
We were up early the next day and already loading in sound equipment, etc. at the party site (my cousin's condo party room) before 10. The party went altogether fabulously and my parents were touched beyond their wildest dreams.
During my dad's speech, he said that there was another celebration that weekend and congratulated me and Snake on our 20th. Then, when we got home, we found flowers and a card from our new neighbours (whom we had waggled our rings at before we left). We never wanted a public wedding ceremony, but these little acknowledgements have been very sweet.
It's funny; a few people have reacted negatively to the implications of ownership in our rings. To me, this worry comes a bit late in the day. Ten years ago, I might still have felt that way, but now the fact of our life together far precedes the symbolism. We didn't stand up in public in 1988 and declare that we would thenceforth honour and cherish. We lived it.
The rings mark the seriousness with which we have commited ourselves to each other and the wholeness of our love which grows and deepens yet.
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no subject
Date: 2008-06-03 10:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-04 04:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-04 02:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-04 03:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-04 03:59 pm (UTC)Second, I love the rings! I love the idea that you carry around the name of the person you love everywhere you go. Makes my romantic heart do all sorts of crazy flips, flops, and squishes.
Third, and possibly most important, CONGRATULATIONS! Dan and I wish to extend our heartiest round of applause and wish you at least another 40 years, if not 60 or 80. :) I think your relationship with Bela is a beautiful, wonderful thing. The two of you as a couple works so well, and both of us, Dan and I, could feel the love between you and in your home.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-04 04:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-04 04:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-04 04:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-04 04:25 pm (UTC)But I had a great time because the party made my folks really happy.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-04 04:27 pm (UTC)My sister has promised to give us a party for our 60th anniversary. She'll be 92 then.
Our home is the home love built, so it should be fairly suffused. Of course, the walls echo with the sounds of a thousand arguments, too.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-04 05:23 pm (UTC)