And after a Long Absence...
May. 14th, 2003 01:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
talktoolooseHi, how are you?
So, first I got involved in a couple of communities and posted a lot there and a lot on friends' pages, then I got insanely busy and the result, in sum, is that I haven't posted here in a while.
I'm in a pretty rocky place this morning because of a big fight over breakfast between Snake and B'rer Rabbit which escalated into a lot of screaming and flying cutlery (Snake likes to throw things, but he never throws things at people or things that will break and need replacement). Nonetheless, I have a lot of trouble with tantrums and I was feeling a little too vulnerable to stand listening to clatter or to get involved, which I have done in the past when they've fought.
I walked out of the kitchen, out the front door and sat on the front step in the cool, sunny spring morning. Eventually I descended the steps to crouch and pull weeds among the tulips in the front flowerbed.
Snake is going a little nuts because of a job appliation he's involved in. Some of you have heard me bitch about the way that he's been dicked around for years as a sessional ESL teacher at various community colleges. They keep everyone as sessionals so they don't have to pay them benefits while claiming that they can't hire more teachers because the future is uncertain. Well, they've employed him non-stop for a decade and he's only one of an army of sessionals in a booming ESL world that has now grown from teaching immigrants English to bringing in planeloads of rich foreign students to study English. As teachers have retired, they have just increased the number of sessionals instead of hiring. At the same time, academics standards and morale have plummeted. As long as they get warm Asian butts in the seats, they don't give a fuck what these students learn.
Now, one college has squeaked the door open a tiny crack and is hiring ONE teacher. God forbid they should offer the job first to sessionals they have been regularly contracting (and summarily screwing) for a decade. That wouldn't be fair. Furthermore, last time they did this (about four years ago) they gave the job to a new graduate with little teaching experience instead of to the guy who had been teaching the course for eight years without benefits.
So, how does a school with academic standards that are diminishing to inscrutability go about hiring a teacher? Answer: by pretending to have higher standards than a top university. Of the hundreds of applicants, dozens were accepted to the next stage where they had to write THREE academic essays in one week. Those will be whittled into a group who will have hours of interview and demonstration teaching.
The chutzpah of the these people astounds me! They feel they have the right to waste hundreds of hours of people's time in this bullshit. And the essay questions weren't even well-drafted. And they won't have time to really digest all that material pouring at the them in the one week they have to decide who makes it to the next level.
It's been super hard for Snake who doubts his competence at the best of times. There was interesting moment when he was intimidated by the a question that asked him to evaluate a student paper "as an ESL professional". He said, "What kind of language am I supposed to use to sound 'professional'? Who am I supposed to pretend to be?!"
I said, "you are an ESL professional. You've been teaching ESL for 12 years. You have a degree in teaching. Just answer the question in the words you use everyday at school." And he realized he could. He realized that "ESL Professional" meant him.
And I totally relate to this level of self-doubt! "Professionals" are those other people. All too often, I feel like a fraud as a designer or as a musician because I know the things that I don't do as well as my fellows. I know that I never went to school to study graphic design. I know that I'm only little Talktooloose, who lives with his insecurities and remembers his failures. And the things that I do really well? Well, those must be easy! Anyone can do that!
So, I've been through Snake's emotional roller coaster at the same time as I've been dealing with my own fears. Mmm. I don't want to be at work now, y'know?
*sigh*
Life goes on.
So, first I got involved in a couple of communities and posted a lot there and a lot on friends' pages, then I got insanely busy and the result, in sum, is that I haven't posted here in a while.
I'm in a pretty rocky place this morning because of a big fight over breakfast between Snake and B'rer Rabbit which escalated into a lot of screaming and flying cutlery (Snake likes to throw things, but he never throws things at people or things that will break and need replacement). Nonetheless, I have a lot of trouble with tantrums and I was feeling a little too vulnerable to stand listening to clatter or to get involved, which I have done in the past when they've fought.
I walked out of the kitchen, out the front door and sat on the front step in the cool, sunny spring morning. Eventually I descended the steps to crouch and pull weeds among the tulips in the front flowerbed.
Snake is going a little nuts because of a job appliation he's involved in. Some of you have heard me bitch about the way that he's been dicked around for years as a sessional ESL teacher at various community colleges. They keep everyone as sessionals so they don't have to pay them benefits while claiming that they can't hire more teachers because the future is uncertain. Well, they've employed him non-stop for a decade and he's only one of an army of sessionals in a booming ESL world that has now grown from teaching immigrants English to bringing in planeloads of rich foreign students to study English. As teachers have retired, they have just increased the number of sessionals instead of hiring. At the same time, academics standards and morale have plummeted. As long as they get warm Asian butts in the seats, they don't give a fuck what these students learn.
Now, one college has squeaked the door open a tiny crack and is hiring ONE teacher. God forbid they should offer the job first to sessionals they have been regularly contracting (and summarily screwing) for a decade. That wouldn't be fair. Furthermore, last time they did this (about four years ago) they gave the job to a new graduate with little teaching experience instead of to the guy who had been teaching the course for eight years without benefits.
So, how does a school with academic standards that are diminishing to inscrutability go about hiring a teacher? Answer: by pretending to have higher standards than a top university. Of the hundreds of applicants, dozens were accepted to the next stage where they had to write THREE academic essays in one week. Those will be whittled into a group who will have hours of interview and demonstration teaching.
The chutzpah of the these people astounds me! They feel they have the right to waste hundreds of hours of people's time in this bullshit. And the essay questions weren't even well-drafted. And they won't have time to really digest all that material pouring at the them in the one week they have to decide who makes it to the next level.
It's been super hard for Snake who doubts his competence at the best of times. There was interesting moment when he was intimidated by the a question that asked him to evaluate a student paper "as an ESL professional". He said, "What kind of language am I supposed to use to sound 'professional'? Who am I supposed to pretend to be?!"
I said, "you are an ESL professional. You've been teaching ESL for 12 years. You have a degree in teaching. Just answer the question in the words you use everyday at school." And he realized he could. He realized that "ESL Professional" meant him.
And I totally relate to this level of self-doubt! "Professionals" are those other people. All too often, I feel like a fraud as a designer or as a musician because I know the things that I don't do as well as my fellows. I know that I never went to school to study graphic design. I know that I'm only little Talktooloose, who lives with his insecurities and remembers his failures. And the things that I do really well? Well, those must be easy! Anyone can do that!
So, I've been through Snake's emotional roller coaster at the same time as I've been dealing with my own fears. Mmm. I don't want to be at work now, y'know?
*sigh*
Life goes on.
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no subject
Date: 2003-05-14 10:11 am (UTC)Ammo shun all role accost her.
Date: 2003-05-14 01:39 pm (UTC)Would it help if you told Snake I would be gleeful to have him as a teacher?
Re: Motion all rule out casper
Date: 2003-05-15 05:38 am (UTC)Are you home for the summer? Do you have a schedule by which to go crazy or will you take it one day at a time?
Are you returning to school?
you have been missed
Date: 2003-05-14 02:55 pm (UTC)however brief your entries are...
worthy in my eyes