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talktoolooseLife seems to be weirdly smooth in the New Year so far. Snake and I have spent a lot of time discussing panic and dissatisfaction. We both have a tendency to rush from thing to thing and, even when doing something pleasureable or satisfying, our minds are already worried about the thing ahead that is not yet done.
So we are both working on being fully present and accepting that the to-do list is always going to be longer than time we are given, especially if we insist on sleeping enough and taking time to exercise our bodies and feed our minds.
I went on Monday for a pre-op visit to the hospital. Even though it's out in the boonies, it's fairly easy to get there. We'll take transit the morning of the operation (Feb. 2) and taxi home. I am being assured that the procedure is simple and recovery quick but I'm still nervous. The image of me lying there on the table in a gown with the tube in my hand and the oxygen mask on my face is disturbing. I'm so grateful Snake has that day off because knowing he'll be there when I come out of the recovery room is incredibly reassuring -- like I just have to get through a few hours in the jungle and he'll be there at the end of the trail when I've put the lions behind me.
In the meantime, work is good and as I layout reports and web pages, I'm sampling songs for a double CD of electronica. One CD will be fast (called, "Get Up and Go") and the other chill (called "Got up and Went"). Heh, I realized that my work harddrive was totally full yesterday. I found I had 3 gigs of music, almost of gig of porn and a lot of other things that shouldn't really be found there. I'm offloading them and bringing them home on an external harddrive that's sitting around here.
Finally, I couldn't help it. Despite the time I should be spending on pre-existing commitments, I am writing a new X-men movieverse fanfic following Bobby (Iceman) Drake from the time his powers manifest up to the events of X1. I always forget how much I love writing prose until I'm doing it. The fannish gods even dropped a copy of the silly SF series Animorphs into my lap so I could get help visualizing Shawn Ashmore (who plays Bobby in the movies) at the younger age when my story takes place.
So we are both working on being fully present and accepting that the to-do list is always going to be longer than time we are given, especially if we insist on sleeping enough and taking time to exercise our bodies and feed our minds.
I went on Monday for a pre-op visit to the hospital. Even though it's out in the boonies, it's fairly easy to get there. We'll take transit the morning of the operation (Feb. 2) and taxi home. I am being assured that the procedure is simple and recovery quick but I'm still nervous. The image of me lying there on the table in a gown with the tube in my hand and the oxygen mask on my face is disturbing. I'm so grateful Snake has that day off because knowing he'll be there when I come out of the recovery room is incredibly reassuring -- like I just have to get through a few hours in the jungle and he'll be there at the end of the trail when I've put the lions behind me.
In the meantime, work is good and as I layout reports and web pages, I'm sampling songs for a double CD of electronica. One CD will be fast (called, "Get Up and Go") and the other chill (called "Got up and Went"). Heh, I realized that my work harddrive was totally full yesterday. I found I had 3 gigs of music, almost of gig of porn and a lot of other things that shouldn't really be found there. I'm offloading them and bringing them home on an external harddrive that's sitting around here.
Finally, I couldn't help it. Despite the time I should be spending on pre-existing commitments, I am writing a new X-men movieverse fanfic following Bobby (Iceman) Drake from the time his powers manifest up to the events of X1. I always forget how much I love writing prose until I'm doing it. The fannish gods even dropped a copy of the silly SF series Animorphs into my lap so I could get help visualizing Shawn Ashmore (who plays Bobby in the movies) at the younger age when my story takes place.
