My partner and I were monogamous for the first six months of our 15 year relationship. He was the first to want to have sex outside the (unrecognized) bonds of hoary matrimony (patri-money). At that moment, I had a lot of hard lessons to learn about jealousy and my ingrained ideas of cat-pissing territorial marking. I remember clearly the point in the debate when I realized that my jealousy was all about fear of losing love. With that misconception cleared up, I suddenly felt a weight lift off my heart. I realized that I never considered his body my property. The learning didn't end there, but it's all been worthwhile.
One thing I should say is how creepy I feel at the moment. I'm very uncomfortable with the public airing of this whole topic and need to understand why it bothers me so much. It probably has a lot to do with fear of being judged by all you good strangers.
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risk management
Date: 2003-03-28 11:21 am (UTC)My partner and I were monogamous for the first six months of our 15 year relationship. He was the first to want to have sex outside the (unrecognized) bonds of hoary matrimony (patri-money). At that moment, I had a lot of hard lessons to learn about jealousy and my ingrained ideas of cat-pissing territorial marking. I remember clearly the point in the debate when I realized that my jealousy was all about fear of losing love. With that misconception cleared up, I suddenly felt a weight lift off my heart. I realized that I never considered his body my property. The learning didn't end there, but it's all been worthwhile.
One thing I should say is how creepy I feel at the moment. I'm very uncomfortable with the public airing of this whole topic and need to understand why it bothers me so much. It probably has a lot to do with fear of being judged by all you good strangers.