Thought Policing

I don't believe in thought policing. I expect people (including myself) to have racist, sexist, homophobic thoughts and I'm okay with that. I'm only interested in actions. If I call my partner "husband," I am okay with some people feeling uncomfortable. I am mostly okay with people expressing that discomfort, as long as it is in the spirit of "hmm, isn't it interesting that I feel uncomfortable," not, "would you stop saying that which makes me uncomfortable."

For example, I sometimes still feel weird around transsexuals (mostly mtf transsexuals, interestingly) but I recognize this as my problem, not theirs. My discomfort has diminished greatly over time and has been illuminating in that it uncovers gender conversations I am still having with myself.

So, no thought policing, please. What's inside of us is a work in progress and does not benefit from opprobrium, but rather knowledge.