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Lights Look Brighter in the Darkest Days
Dec. 20th, 2010 01:08 pmI am always intriqued by the solstices and revel in the bright one and the dark one. I thought this, one of the shortest days of the year, would be a good time for some higher-level updating.
My life feels both satisfying and peculiar these days. I continue to struggle with my atrial fibrillation. The new drug is hit and miss, but I suspect the recent spate of thumpty-bumpty is stress related, possibly due to the fact that we're really kicking hornet's nests in my therapy.
It's almost comical to observe myself in sessions as I practically play the contortionist to avoid subjects, even as I babble a continuous stream of denial about the importance of the subject that is making me writhe like a worm. The sessions are, I think, very good, but they are leaving me in a very heightened, touchy and kind of manic state over the last while.
Perhaps it is this different state which has kicked me utterly out of the fiction groove and deeply back into music-making. When I'm recording, I can use that manic energy and noisy brain to productive purpose, jumping from performance questions, to engineerings considerations, to lyric fixes all within a five-minute period. Writing fiction, in contrast, requires single-mindedness and the ability to sit still and be quiet. Not going to happen anytime soon.
I should be able to post a new "videosong" on YouTube by the new year.
I am very grateful for the return of the bass guitar to my life and I'm impressed with the groove-solid playing I've been doing. There is nothing like the solid massiveness of the bass and the tones its produces. In my old duo, I used to play bass and sing lead, a combination that works very well for me. Man, I would like to perform again.
More things to say soon, perhaps.
My life feels both satisfying and peculiar these days. I continue to struggle with my atrial fibrillation. The new drug is hit and miss, but I suspect the recent spate of thumpty-bumpty is stress related, possibly due to the fact that we're really kicking hornet's nests in my therapy.
It's almost comical to observe myself in sessions as I practically play the contortionist to avoid subjects, even as I babble a continuous stream of denial about the importance of the subject that is making me writhe like a worm. The sessions are, I think, very good, but they are leaving me in a very heightened, touchy and kind of manic state over the last while.
Perhaps it is this different state which has kicked me utterly out of the fiction groove and deeply back into music-making. When I'm recording, I can use that manic energy and noisy brain to productive purpose, jumping from performance questions, to engineerings considerations, to lyric fixes all within a five-minute period. Writing fiction, in contrast, requires single-mindedness and the ability to sit still and be quiet. Not going to happen anytime soon.
I should be able to post a new "videosong" on YouTube by the new year.
I am very grateful for the return of the bass guitar to my life and I'm impressed with the groove-solid playing I've been doing. There is nothing like the solid massiveness of the bass and the tones its produces. In my old duo, I used to play bass and sing lead, a combination that works very well for me. Man, I would like to perform again.
More things to say soon, perhaps.
